Yup. That's a bad puppy.

Yesterday afternoon, I headed over to our apartment's fitness center to run on the elliptical for 45 minutes. When I came home, Oliver bolted toward the laundry room (where he gets banished when he's been bad) and I knew he'd done something to feel guilty over.

Last week, I ordered one of those detox programs online. It's actually a company created and run by a high school friend, Lindsay Reinsmith. It comes in a powder form and you mix it with juice or water or yogurt. I had left it in its box on the dining room table. I bet you can see where this is going.

Oliver managed to find his way onto the table, rip through the box and eat three packets of diet powder. In the process, he spilled powder all over the dining room floor, and then tracked it into the living room. Oh ya, we have white carpet. And Oh ya, the powder was blueberry flavored.

I came home to find a half dozen very large, very vibrantly purple spots on my carpet. And he must have licked it, because it was ground in good. I vacuumed. I sprayed Shout Spray and Wash. I used our little steam cleaner. I got some out, but not much. "Oh my gosh. We're going to have to re-carpet two rooms."

Fortunately, Middle Little Brother has some experience with messy puppies and recommended that we rent a Rug Doctor. Hans got one and we were able to get most of the stains out (plus the additional stains that we came this morning, when misbehaving puppy was sick all over the carpet - that's what you get for eating three packs of diuretics. Jerk).

The only funny part? Other Puppy is actually very well behaved. When I came into the house, he was curled on the couch in the exact same spot I had left him. He shot Oliver a look that said "OooOOoohh, you're gonna get it now!" and shot me a look that said "I've had no part in this." Oliver was covered head to tail in purple powder. It seemed like Hudson quite deliberately stretched his head, neck and back in front of me to show that his shiny coat didn't have a speck of powder on it. It seemed so human and thoughtful, his looks and actions conveyed so clearly that he wanted no part in any trouble.

I'm still not looking at Oliver. I don't want him anywhere near me. And he's still banished to the laundry room when I'm home. Anyone want a free puppy?