But, I do find that I end up answering the same questions over and over again. People see the bump, they ask the questions. So just for funsies (and maybe because some of you actually care to know!) I put together a top ten list of questions I get asked often and what the answers are. Maybe I'll just print it out and hand it to people when they ask :)
1). You're not finding out the gender?! WHY?!?!
Whew. I never knew this would be such a hot-button issue! It's getting everyone all bothered. Truly, all we've cared about is that the baby is healthy - it hasn't really mattered to us whether it's a boy or girl as long as its major organs work and it has all its fingers and toes. And there were some other practical issues as well - we wanted to decorate the nursery once and be able to use it for subsequent children. We also saw not finding out as a way to curtail our family members (I mean you, Malinda and Karina) from going crazy buying things, as well as myself. Every time we go in BabyGap, I want to get cute little skirts or football footie pajamas. Instead, I don't get anything and we go pick up a pack of diapers or something else we actually need. It's helping us focus on preparing for baby needs, not wants.
2). But what do you THINK it is?
Well, we've both always had a gut feeling it's a girl. Can't say why, but it's been there since the moment we found out we were pregnant. And pretty much every old wives' tale indicates it's a girl, too. I'm carrying high, I was super sick the first trimester, the heartbeat is over 140, most of my cravings have been for sweet things, and both the Chinese gender prediction calendar and the pencil test both say girl. (Dude, the pencil test is crazy. Look it up on youtube if you've never seen it. And I've asked just about every mother I know, and they all say it was right for theirs). So if you hear us refer to the baby as "she," we don't actually know, that's just what we call it.
3). Have you picked out a name?
We've narrowed it down to a few, but again, we're not sharing. It's just that people have some pretty strong opinions on names and we don't want to have a name we love ruined. There's always comments like "Oh, I had a drunk, kinda handsy Uncle named that" or "There was a girl in my high school with that name... she sniffed spray paint and got pregnant at 14." I'm not saying that people won't have those thoughts AFTER the baby is born and they find out the name, just that maybe they won't voice them aloud in an effort to change our minds. And even though we have both a boy short list (down to two names!) and a girl short list (2-4 depending on whether you ask Hans or I), we really don't have clear cut winners. I kinda want to be able to look at the baby and make sure that the name *feels* right.
(*Note: I'm pretty sure Hans already has a baby girl name set in stone in his head. I think he secretly refers to the baby by this name when he's thinking of her. I love the name, I'm just not 100 percent sold yet).
4). Ugh. Aren't you worried you're going to get a lot of green and yellow clothes at the baby shower?
5). Speaking of gifts, are you registered anywhere?
You're so sweet for asking. We are registered on Amazon's Universal Wish List and Babies R Us. The two lists are actually very similar and have many of the same items. I realize this means that we're looking at some duplicates, but believe me when I say there was method to our madness! We know some people like to pick gifts up in person - thus the Babies R Us option. But we also have many friends and family members that live far away, making Amazon a great option. Plus, we've noticed some major price differences between the two - Sometimes BRU offers the item cheaper (hello, Pack N Play!) and sometimes Amazon's cheaper (like for the stroller). And we really love Amazon's Universal Wish list option - it allowed us to add a few items from Target, a few from Pottery Barn, a few from Baby Gap. If you see something on the Amazon Registry you like at Target, you can pick it up in-store and then just click the link next to the item that says "Buying this gift elsewhere?"
6). Does the nursery have a theme?
7). Where are you delivering? Do you have a pediatrician? What's your birth plan? Signed up for Lamaze classes?
This is where I start getting overwhelmed. I'm trying to take deep breathes and work it out one at a time. I'm delivering at Seton on 38th Street. I'm using a doctor and I love her. She's great. We haven't found a pediatrician yet, but we're working on it and have a few in mind to interview. I have no idea what I'm doing about my birth plan, but I don't have strong feelings against induction/epidurals/c-sections/anything my doctor might deem necessary. My doctor and I will be discussing my options at the next appointment. More power to all you ladies who do the at-home in a tub thing - I just don't think it's for me. Birthing classes start in January and we're all registered for that, so at least I can cross that off my list.
8). How are you feeling?
Pregnant. Sooo.... pretty much what you'd expect.
9). Are you going to keep working after baby comes?
We haven't worked out the details on this one yet, but the short answer is yes. I count myself so amazingly blessed in that my job is incredibly flexible. 95% of my job can be done from home, or in the middle of the night, or on weekends, and doesn't involve other people that I need to collaborate with. And my office is incredibly baby friendly (there's only two other people in my office and lots of space), so right now Hans and I are hoping for some combination of work-from-home and bring-baby-to-work. I love my job and feel challenged and stimulated by it - I'm not quite ready to give that up. And we're not ready to say goodbye to the extra income either. This could change down the road, but this is what we're looking at right now.
10). Can I touch your belly?
You're in the minority just for asking. Most people just go for it. And while I've heard that this drives some women out of their mind, it really doesn't bother me. Go for it. If you're lucky my hyper little child will kick you (she probably will. She does it all the time. See? I call her she). Especially being in Young Women's, I feel like there's someone wanting to touch my belly every day. I'm glad it doesn't bother me. I have yet to have a stranger do it... that may be another situation entirely.
For the sake on conversation:
ReplyDeleteBaby as a primary topic won't change any once you have a baby :)
1) I respect not finding out the gender. I ultimately chose not to go that route, but I sympathize with it.
3) I COMPLETELy agree with being mum on the name game. To this day I refuse to even divulge the names that were on my alternate list. I also refused to commit to name for DS until I saw him in person. DH was 100% confinced on his name, and it turned out he was right. Frankly, the name we chose is still growing on me, but I am certain it was the name that belongs to my boy.
4) Yes, you get tons of clothes, but you NEED tons of clothes. My tip is that if you find something you truly love - register or get it in multiple sizes. In the first year of life your kiddo will only fit into it for 12 weeks.
6) I'm looking forward to your nursery blogs!
10) A "I'm pregnant and cranky" glare will likely ward off that sort of behavior.